Review – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles


This review first appeared in BMA Magazine.

The original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic book series was a joke. It was poking fun at the popular comic series Daredevil and the parody evolved into cartoon series and merchandising juggernaut that has incredible staying power. In 2014, the joke has been taken too seriously.

A group of mutant turtles, Michelangelo, Leonardo, Donatello and Rafael, face off against a crime boss who wants to control New York City. The bad guy’s plan consist of just saying “the city will be ours” repeatedly, but there’s no mention of what he’ll do with the city once it’s his – it’s that kind of film.

The Turtles are douchey in a special Michael Bay way (he’s on producing duties). It’s “cowabunga dudes” in an Ed Hardy t-shirt and the Turtles have more in common with people planning to spike your drink at nightclub than anything resembling a group of heroes.

Megan Fox appears so the Turtles can make sexual advances toward her (creepy) and Will Arnett provides comic discomfort and adds to his list of ‘increasingly poor decisions in cinema’.

Director Jonathan Liebesman does craft two nifty action sequences that sit back-to-back toward the finale and you get a glimpse of how much fun the film could have been.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles should have been as silly as the title but its stern approach to one of the goofiest pop culture entities is a complete misfire.


Cameron Williams

The Popcorn Junkie