Review – Breaking Dawn Part Two

Frank Sinatra sung ‘My Way’ with gusto as he faced retirement and the final film in the ‘Twilight Saga’ is kind of like that final proud lyrical statement from ole blue eyes. ‘Breaking Dawn Part Two’ is an appropriate final washout for a series that has been proud of its mediocrity.

Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) are dealing with the birth of their daughter, Renesmee while Bella adapts to life as a vampire. When the blood sucking overlords The Volturi discover the existence of a vampire child they seek to destroy it and all involved.

‘Breaking Dawn Part Two’ immediately suffers from having to fill time due to the final part of the saga being split in half. Picking up immediately from the end of ‘Part One’ there is intrigue at the prospect of Bella’s vampirism but its dusted away quickly when the first thing the character does is look into the mirror to see how great she looks. From there it’s a series of moments designed to show off her new powers that’s all filler and awkward comedic attempts to show off the wacky life of a newborn vamp with arm-wrestling.

From the beginning of ‘Part One’ director, Bill Condon played around with the idea of the symbolism of marriage and a new life contrasted with the looming prospect of Bella becoming a vampire. Those ideas are swept aside for vain romance that results in a terrible scene of intimacy complete with a golden orgasm (this reviewer is not kidding, it happens). From there it’s a slow build to a final confrontation that involves the addition of a bevy of new characters not worth caring about along with lengthy explanations as to every minute plot detail, that’s again, more filler. The big confrontation has a few fun head popping moments but it’s still odd seeing a vampire film with barely a drop of blood.

The saga stalwart Billy Burke who plays Bella’s father seems to be the only actor worth mentioning out of a group who pout, frown and spurt horrific dialogue like “you nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness monster!?!” Burke hits his one-liners and sits back as if astounded by how the rest of his co-stars managed to attain employment.

The special effects are shoddy and the presence of a digital baby/toddler is a complete abomination and almost offensive to real baby actors. CGI should draw you into a fantasy world and make the impossible seem real. In ‘Breaking Dawn Part Two’ the effects are so bad they load you into cannon and blast you outside of the realm of movie magic.

‘Breaking Dawn Part Two’ closes the ‘Twilight Saga’ with a postcard to the series and it’s a reminder that the journey has been a murmur rather than a saga, and the final plod is no exception.

1/5

Cameron Williams
The Popcorn Junkie

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