Review – Project X

I’m calling it…4:30pm 1 March 2012, the time a I saw the film industry and possibly humankind, hit a brand new low with ‘Project X’. A film so bad it doesn’t deserve to be called a film or be allowed a release anywhere inside our solar system – including Pluto.

Three teenagers throw a party that gets out of control and the events are captured via various recording devices and presented as found footage of real events.

From the minute ‘Project X’ starts the voice of Roger Murtaugh from the ‘Lethal Weapon’ films will echo through your head with “I’m too old for this shit”. ‘Project X’ is targeted at moronic teen audiences and presents a male skewed fantasy of the ultimate party. Everyone has been to a wild party at some point in their life but the architects of this disaster have a shallow idea of a good time. If young people or anyone involved making ‘Project X’ consider this to be entertainment, they should submit themselves for sterilisation and we’ll mark them down as a write-off for the human race. Party yourselves into oblivion and say hello to Satan for me.

The male characters are an unlikable bunch of spoilt rich kids and the women are just portrayed as sex objects. It’s shameful that the young actresses willing subject themselves to the humiliation and set back women’s rights by about one million years.

‘Project X’ is caveman filmmaking and can best be described as a masturbator’s delight. Pause buttons on DVD/Blu-Ray players will be worn down to a nub when it available to purchase – this is the enduring impression ‘Project X’ will leave on the world…classy. The problem is the person who eventually purchases it should not be allowed to own a television, operate a motor vehicle or participate in any activity outside a maximum security facility – the producers really have the ‘life in prison’ market covered with this effort.

Old school vampire law dictates that if you kill the leader, you wipe out all the other vampires they created. I feel like going on a similar mission and tracking down the master copy of ‘Project X’ and destroying it to save the world from the evil spell its spawn will cast on audiences.

For the first time ever The Popcorn Junkie has decided to not to give a film a score out of five because even a score of zero is too good for ‘Project X’.

‘Project X’ can suck it.

The Popcorn Junkie